| (no subject) |
[Aug. 26th, 2004|05:45 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothing else matters- Metallica | ] |
It is funny how you think things change but they actually stay the same. The man issue has gone back to square one. The younger one has seemed to disappear on me just as fast as he came in to my world. The other one still lingers on and has made me feel ignored once again. When things get to a certain point he runs for the hills faster that you can blink. Oh well I am sure that things have their own ways of working out.
On another front I am still trying to deal with my best friend and sister taking a break from the only true love of her life. I feel bad that I do not have a magic wand to make things better for her. I would try to change things in a heart beat if I only had the power. It is really a very helpless feeling to stand back and watch the cards fall where they will.
I do have something to look forward to though. In one week our little annual block party is once again upon me and I really need that party believe me! It is going to be a blast but of course there is always drama. I have a feeling that this year I am gonna be in the middle of it all. I will not let the worst of things get to me at all. I am gonna have fun and drink up the weekend in my usual fashion. I am sure that all of my fellow cohorts will be marching to the exact same tune. Oh well I am starving so I gotta run and eat..... |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 10th, 2004|09:00 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | yeah! Little John | ] |
I am beyond happy for the first time in ages!! Yay for me!
I have a date with a guy that is genuinely sweet and will give me all the attention and affection that I have been looking for in a man. Grant it he is younger than me but who cares! I am saying Alec who?? He is someone that I have known for about a year or 2 but was afraid that I was already taken. It feels sooooo good to be wanted for once. I am beyond happy right now that words can not express what I feel. I am a little concerned about the age difference but I really am getting over it. He is extremely sweet and did I mention absolutely adorable? Oh my goodness would my clone love him.. Yes miss francine I am talking about you. I am going to see him this week sometime and I will keep all my thoughts tracked here... I just hope that this does not fall apart like everything else does for me.. I am smiling.. That is a rare expression for me.. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2004|09:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | type o negative...death in the family | ] |
Yeah Yeah.. I have not been on this in ages so here is the update that people have been asking for..
I am absolutely shot!! I have not had one weekend that has not included some kind of drama. I am still battling the fact that the person I thought was right for me still has the fear stuck in his head. I am getting to the point were I do not care anymore and I will let it all go. But the fact of the matter is that I still want to be with him but he only sees what can happen if it all ends. I know the fear because I live with the fear everyday that he would walk out on me like all the others did. I have thought that I was never good enough for him or anyone for that matter, but I realized that it is the guys I choose to be with not me personally. I know that he will always be there for me no matter what but I feel like that is not good enough anymore.
I also have the drama going on that my best friend in the world may be loosing the best thing that ever happened to her in her life. Her and her fiancee may be on their way out and there is nothing I can do to fix it or make it better. The feeling of being helpless sucks.. I know all I can do is stand by and watch things happen but it is a feeling that I hate! I have seen a lot of relationships come and go but this one I REALLY hope is there to stay and things can be fixed.. I am so tired and shot that I am gonna go to my bed that is calling my name =) |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
reddevil1128's journal